I regret...
not seeking help for my hormone issues much sooner.
I have spent the past several years on a downward spiral into a person I did not recognize as of January 2018. My husband was patient and would often ask "is it one of those days?" If I said yes, I received mercy and grace. More often his question would infuriate me and a tirade of anger would spew from my body in audible and inaudible ways.
I struggled with feeling joy and happiness. I found myself unable to name anything that made me happy... ever. After several moments of thought, I finally said "doing things that make others happy."
I hid behind "tiredness" as an excuse to not have to go out with my family and saw quickly their disappointment that sometimes was also relief that their unpredictable momma would not ruin their potential good time.
I went to my family doctor on two separate occasions and he assured me my numbers were normal. The last visit he sent me to an ENT to see about my tonsils and gave me facial gel for rosacea. I don't blame him (as women's issues are not his specialty) but WHAT ON EARTH did I say that led him to believe these issues were my main motivation for rare visits?
In January the daughter of a former colleague reached out to me on Social Media when she read one of my posts about the downside of aging. She encouraged me to visit her office and I can honestly say I instantly felt better. FINALLY someone was going to listen and might just even have a way to help this sad, lost human I was allowing to show through more often than not.
The hormone pellets I received have honestly saved me. They are slow release and I was amazed at how quickly my body reacted to treatment. I am more joyful and can handle stressors more similarly to the way I would have years ago. I am at peace and don't feel constantly stressed and anxiety ridden. There is more laughter and love in my world and for these things, I am truly grateful.
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