Lunchtime Revelation

Today I had the pleasure of having lunch with a student I taught last year. He was my "project". You see, he had failed everything in life. He was repeating sixth grade and had little or no home support. He did nothing. He hated school. He had no friends. We made a bet last year that IF he would do a book report, I would do cartwheels. A bet I knew I would never have to pay. WRONG!! but that's another story.

Recently, we made another deal. You see, this child would meet my expectations. I don't know why...he just would. The details were simple. He would behave for another teacher for two whole weeks. This was a difficult challenge and much more excruciating than it sounds. This morning as he passed my class I said.."hey, what's your favorite pizza?" "Supreme" he replied. Of course I thought. I frantically ran around checking to make certain that his self-reports of good behavior were true. THEY WERE! Hooray!

So...he dropped by my classroom on his way to lunch (as he often does) to encounter a Domino's Pizza just for him. We sat and talked and shared lunch and laughter. He seemed a little uneasy at first...but with the first bite of lunch and an effervescent pop of his coke can... a new child was revealed. He stopped being that gawky, awkward "nobody" and became my student, my friend. We spoke of testing and fears and summer days on the horizon. He talked about what he had done right and unintentionally revealed his need for acceptance. HE wants to be liked. HE wants to be believed in. HE wants to be loved.

So I am challenged, once again, to look past exterior facades and search for inward value and beauty in others. Each of us wants to be valued and cherished. It's nice to matter and be affirmed. Do you have a "project"? Get one today. I guarantee you will be the one who is blessed.

Thursday Tuneday

The sunshine was out! It was a blessing! For those of you who have seen me in the past six years, you know that my hair is WILDER than ever. Thanks to birthing two angels and mid-life horemones..it has a mind of its own. As I came out of school, I realized that my eyes were not being attacked by pollen and I sauntered to my car. When I got in, Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" was playing and I was instantly 18 again. I slowly pulled out of the parking lot and acted like a grown up. Carefully and cautiously (with hands at 10 and 2, I progressed to the stop light and then thought....who am I kidding? All four windows raced into their cocoons and the stereo cranked itself to an unhealthy decibel level. I could not help it. My hair was sucked out the sun roof and I sang at the TOP OF MY LUNGS!! It was fun, free, and perfectly legal. I did not bother another person, I did not deplete the ozone, and I did not have to check for fat, fiber, and cholesterol content. IT WAS GLORIOUS! It was majestic! It was DYN-O-MITE!!!

I really enjoyed myself. I will probably do it again. So if you see me looking a little wind-blown, smile to yourself, laugh if you'd like... I am busy being 18!!

Wednesday's Wonder

Today...we had a student complaining about her shoe causing her foot to hurt. I was shocked, horrified, and bumfuzzeled to learn that she had a dead mouse in her shoe. THIS TRULY CAUSED ME TO WONDER...
How did the mouse get there?
Was it alive when she put the shoe on?
Why did she never check in her shoe before 2:00?
Where did the mouse enter the shoe? at school? at home?
Is this normal for her and her living conditions?
HOW DO WE HANDLE IT?


Although I have never been clinically diagnosed with ADHD...you understand completely my bizarre mind's wanderings as I share just a glimpse of the mental gymnastics I experience every day! Thanks for loving me anyway!

FRUSTRATION....my worst enemy

Frustration is indeed my worst enemy. It drags me kicking and screaming into dark places and disallows me to experience joy. The inability to fix the person, thing, or situation truly drives me insane. I say things I should not, do things I should not, and am basically the "bad" person that lies hidden deep inside. Frustration blinds me from seeing the potential good, the possibilities, and the smiley faces that riddle most situations. Frustration knows my weaknesses and has no desire whatsoever to play fair. Thank God my enemy frustration only visits fleetingly. To conquer frustration is my Gold medal, my marathon, my debut on the stage of Radio City Music Hall.

My goal for tomorrow....NOT let Frustration into my world.

Monday's Musing

Tonight I have writer's block. NOT REALLY KNOWING WHAT TO WRITE.. Most things that come to mind are negative and not really worth placing on the internet...much less into the atmosphere. SO...I will just generate a list of blessings:

1- Family. TOTALLY INCLUSIVE of those I share blood lines with and those we lovingly call...family of the heart!
2- Laughter. The best cure for whatever ails me!
3- Forgiveness. From the beginning, when Christ died on the cross...to just today...when I mistakenly accused a student of having the wrong book.
4- Sight. Both literal and also the ability to see connections in life's choices and how everything worked out...just as it was supposed to.
5- Wonder. The inquisitive nature born into us. The ability for a 40 year old mother to consider that she may actually be a published author.


For these and the fact that I have been blessed in far greater ways than I ever deserved, thank you God.

Words.....So much more!

I was asked once...what are your favorite words? The obvious were God, love, family, friends. You know the drill. But tonight I am contemplative. I am pondering the inquisition that makes my mind whirl. I really like the word possibility. This powerful word suggests hope and brighter days to come. I also like anticipation. The guarantee of something delightful, delicious, and esoterically beautiful. I can identify with loathe because nice Baptist girls in the South are not supposed to hate anything. Enamored suggests mischief and curiosity of deed. Passion.....well nice Baptist girls in the South are not supposed to talk about that one either. Yet leads me to blush..which I surprisingly often do. Overall....I am a linguist. A lover of words. A nerdy geek who keeps cards and letters....just to read them an infinite number of times and affirm that my life has meaning and is being well lived.

Perhaps the word I find most comfort in is learner. When I am that word, I am free to make mistakes, ask questions, and not be expected to be perfect. It is in that word, that I explore, analyze, and formulate my own path to understanding. I discover freedom and support and the right to be wrong. If successful with the task of learning, I become conquerer, graduate, master, expert, wise, and worthy. Throughout this process, I encompass joy....and it dear ones is good.

Saturday's Shenanigans

Tonight we had the honor of being invited to the Trexler's Annual Fish Fry. Excellent deep fried delights and endless "sweet tea". There were diverse people in droves. The youngest... a hairbanned little pink fluff ball...the oldest....hmm.....not quite sure. The common thread..EVERYONE had a great time. The rain poured down onto the tinkling tin roof and the band played a little louder. Whenever there was a pause in the music, laughter filled the air and it was lovley. I am certain the Trexlers spent countless hours preparing for the event, exhaustion sneaking across their faces....yet they genuinely seemed pleased that everyone came. In true Trexler fashion, they smiled and hugged, and shook hands and patted backs. Even me...the transplant was made to feel that the evening might just have not been complete had we not been there.

I have been blessed and pray that my hospitality to others could be Trexler like in the future. Thanks be to God for this family and all they mean to so very many!

Alex's quote of the night.."Only 364 days 'till we get to go again".. and that friends...says it all!

Friday... EOG SEASON HAS ARRIVED

Author's Note.. the following is not written in hate, disgust, or ill intent to any individual. They are simply heart-felt words from a passionate teacher who is honored to hold such a prestigious and influential position.

We are entering the season called EOGs (eee--oh--geez)
Will someone, somewhere please tell me, please?
What good this is this magnanimous test
That gives me stress and little rest?
It makes my students shiver in fear
They worry and beg..."get me out of here!"
It's a number, a formula, a wicked little score
And I am told teach the test, not children any more
My heart truly aches when they give their utmost best
AND I have to say...love..I am sorry..you failed the test
They are devastated and heartbroken, forsaken and crushed
And plead, Mrs. Freeman, but I have learned so very much!
I have new friends and teachers who love me as I am
But the test tells me I am stupid and not worth a damn
This year I've read books and laughed and loved and smiled
You've told me my life is really worth-while!
I'm sorry Mrs. Freeman, please don't be mad
I hate that I am a rotten kid and nothing but bad.
NO CHILD don't you worry for you are the best
I don't care AT ALL about some silly test
You are a miracle, a masterpiece, it's true
And no matter the score, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
So forget about the test and learn all you can
NO EOGs were ever in God's perfect plan!

Thursday's Thoughts

Tonight I took my youngest son roller skating with his school. It must be true of all "rings" or "rinks" (depending upon where you live), that the music is ALWAYS loud and of a poorish quality and the floors are difficult for aging eyes too discern as level.

Think about it...you have paid hard-earned money to use shoes that have Heaven knows how many fungai growing in them and then....in typical Southern fasion...you go round and round in a circle. (Like NASCAR, eh?).

BUT HERE'S THE THING....as our little ones go round and round...we can't wait for them to fly by again. They wave and smile or just give the obligatory too-cool big-kid nod.. and our hearts soar. We worry if too much time elapses between passes. We squirm on our bench and cringe with every muscle as fatality after fatality is avoided. We giggle out loud at their awkwardness, spastic cat and mouse games of tag, and the ever popular ATTEMPT to dance on skates.

So...despite total exhaustion from a week riddled with "Adult Stuff"...You betcha' Alex....we certainly can come next time! I would say that was the best $4.00 I have spent all week!

Wednesday's Wit

Today was trying....you know.... when you are TRYING to be nice, TRYING to remain patient, and TRYING not to choke the crap out of somebody! THEN...I get to go to dance. At precisely 7:15~ (okay maybe not, we are adults with responsibilities) I don my lovely size 11 tap shoes. They represent freedom and memories that are not tarnished or fading. When I approach the bar, I really try to avoid the mirrors that used to bring me such delight as a wee dancer. In those mirrors, I was the star. There were no other dancers in the class..nope...not one! My teacher only taught me..she praised only me...she delighted in me! (NOT REALLY...I know there were likely 20 or so other perfect starts among me. BUT thank you so much Miss Margie for allowing me to live this fantasy).

TODAY...when my feet are challenged to recall steps and replicate sounds learned 30+ years ago...I am the one who is delighted. When I nail the double pull back (with aging joints and way too many pounds all around) I AM SUCCESSFUL. This brings me joy, elation, and peace. I still have it and nobody can take it away from me. The shoes represent security and pure happiness. In these stolen moments, I escape the daily grind and find myself again. I am once again the star. I am perfectly and wonderfully made. AND FOR THIS MOMENT and all my many blessings, I am truly, truly grateful!

May you dance your own dance...go ahead nobody is watching! YOU ARE A STAR!!

Weather Fickleness

Today as I served gate duty at our baseball game, I felt rain drops. Each fan that passed through commented about how they hoped it did not rain...yet being realists they carried umbrellas, rain coats, and often blankets. I personally prayed little prayers of thanksgiving for those tiny-teensy drops that landed on my money box. Last week...some of the same people complained about needing shaded ticket booths and industrial strength fans so we would not get so hot.

I think we are simply fickle when it comes to weather. It reminds me of my sixth grade girls who ALWAYS want whatever they don't have in regards to their hair. I am grateful to live in a lovely place that affords me variety in weather. I love the fact that we have seasons...despite the fact that their lines of demarkation have become a little fluid. It annoys yet thrills me to have to "trade out" seasonal clothing to fit the weather. Which reminds me....gotta' do that this weekend!

I am probably going to face cool, humid, damp conditions in the morning....rather than complain..I am going to be thankful for the change and try not to worry about my hair as my shallow yet lovley6th grader ladies would.

Monday's Mischief

Today was a day....I escaped near death when my computer monitor crashed to the floor. Thanks be to God it did not break..only the keyboard wiring guts came out in my hand. SOOOOO.. I got a new one. (Thanks Chris!) It is super nice and pristine. When I installed it, it gave me a free tutorial on each and every key. This made me think...sometimes it is good and necessary to redo, from scratch, the things we have done a million times before.

Later I had the pleasure of meeting some future Erwin Eagles. A fresh batch.. a chance to do over... a Mulligan in my teaching career....WOW...what a gift!

STILL LATER...Faculty meeting. This was about our optional Cafeteria Benefits Plan. I opt not to use this because we are blessed with good health. However...I was struck by the rules and regulations of Insurance. Did you know...if you purchase a Cancer plan and commit suicide (whether sane or insane) you cannot recieve in-hospital benefits? REALLY? I pray when this life ends..I won't need to spend unnecessary days in the hospital.

LATER STILL....PTA. Our eighth grade chorus sang. I love to hear them. Our music teacher is a joy to watch and you can tell on the students' faces when she is pleased. Great kids, great teacher means GREATNESS!!!

FINALLY...I am home. I have just failed a Quiz my son gave me about North Carolina and our many travel destinations. I think that is hilarious. My mom taught NC HIstory for a gazillion years, I had to take NC History eight times in my life, and I even taught 4th grade for a year. JUST GOES TO PROVE...it's never too early to admit your ignorance and the BEST thing is I can change it!

So the evening is drawing to a close...mischief is indeed the word of the day. I have done no harm (well much) and Life is good. Hope you had an above the line, better than average day yourselves!

Sunday Thoughts

Sometimes I feel like Alexander...you remember him don't you? He really believed his terrible, horrible, rotten, no good day would be better if he only moved to Australia. So I am tempted to call ANYONE in Australia and say....hmmmm...do you all really not have bad days there? Are the rotten people and events magically erased once you enter the southern hemisphere? IF SO....why don't you have an illegal alien problem?

Everyone has their thing. The thing that worries them, makes them sad, makes the angry, frustrates them or just is a plane nuisance. Rather than try to win a "my dog's bigger than your dog" contest and outdo one anothers' things...why don't we just throw them into a huge stew pot and celebrate the fact that we have managed to get through, over, and past many previous things?

God's grace is sufficient. When we call upon the name of the Lord, he answers. We turn these answers into things when we lose faith and do not trust him to know what we need. This week...I am busy...and my goal is to celebrate the things as they come to me. Satan get behind me...I got some celebrating to do!!

Blessings to each of you!

View from The Deck

So this morning I have stolen a few moments on The Deck. The Deck deserves capitalization due to the fact that it is an entity of its very own. The Deck was built by my father in law with materials purchased by my mother. It was an anniversary gift and I LOVE IT! It is obnoxiously oversized for my modest home and holds a plethora of memories. Each year I attempt to "upgrade" and add a little something something to The Deck. Unfortunately..my inner Martha does not believe in upkeep...so it ends up being a menagerie of eclectic insanity. Today The Deck got its spring washdown. As I soaked up the sun and hosed down The Deck, I was reminded of the fun we have had. Several kids' parties full of shrill screams and spilled sodas. Quiet fall nights with a fire and blankets. Summer scents of grilling and laughter filled water gun fights. The latest on the list of accomplishments for The Deck is "hair cuttin' station". In an effort to save money, my lovely husband purchased an incredible set of industrial clippers for my use on his and the boys' heads. We gather on The Deck and prepare for metamorphosis. I am gaining knowledge about the patterns of hair, cow-licks, waves, and texture of each and every hair on their precious heads. I sometimes do very well and other times..well not so well. In any event, this morning as I sheered, buzzed, and perfected my "art", I could not help but think of God who knows each and every hair on our heads before even our parents know we exist. I am overwhelmed that he cares enough to LOVE ALL OF US that much. So I will strive to be a better barber on The Deck. I will love every curly, wavy, gray, brown, blond, gray (yes there seem to be more and more of those these days) on my head! I will take pride in The Deck and continue to make memories....
Gotta' run.....praying that you are pulling in the driveway...join me on The Deck...there is always room!

Domino's

Today I ordered Domino's from work and never spoke to a human. It was surprisingly delivered right on time and again (surprisingly) was very good.

While I navigated the Domino's site I found the company had "new and improved" pizza. This struck me as they realized how their former pizza was DISGUSTING and card-board-esque. They (unlike me) listened to their critics and actually did something about it. I guess the lesson learned is.... if people around me love me enough to share my shortcomings, perhaps I should listen. They know me well and want whats best for them....a better me. So my challenge this weekend is to listen with my brain rather than my heart and maybe take a few baby steps toward positive change. Now my big dillema...is what kind of crust shall I be?

Hoorah Domino's and hoorah those willing to self-reflect and become better!

HOTDOGS!

So tonight we are having hotdogs. EVERYONE in our home is excited and I giggle because this may be the easiest meal we cook. Perhaps there are lessons to be learned:
1- The simple things in life CAN be the best.
2- If something comes to you easily...perhaps it is God's reward for surviving something unpleasant...as we did it HIS way!
3- Hotdogs come from the scraps, the leftovers, the throw aways of meat and meat by-products. Perhaps in our daily lives...we should work to create joy from the leftovers. We should grab the throw away children and elderly and allow them to create joy within us. We should give joy to them and make them realize their life is necessary and useful. There are jewels all around us...dress up the unwanted or undesired and make them works of art!

Go on....strike up the grill...a hotdog and you are works of art!

Wednesday's Wisdom

Today I found myself laughing in the face of adversity. I think it could have been because I pressed CD 3 in the player on my mini-commute to work. Amazing, joy-filled music roared from the speakers of my vehicle and I sang along. I sand LOUD!! I sang PROUD!! I was off key and my voice broke....SO WHAT!! I really did not care if I looked foolish or if anyone heard me even. One delightful ditty is entitled "Hallelujah ANYHOW". This should be my battle cry as I enter the trenches of worldly life. In the face of the devil I should laugh and dare that beast to tempt me...does he not know? I serve an AWESOME God who created me perfectly and flawlessly. He loves me enough to bring me to these challenges...just to prove to myself that he is in control and will take care of me if I will just let him! So YES today was super...filled with giddy laughter...because I was spirit filled and blessed. May tomorrow find you laughing....because you can through him and because HE delights with you!

Tirade Tuesday??

Today is referred to as Tirade Tuesday on one of my favorite radio stations. I think this may be a good thing. NAME THE THINGS YOU DISLIKE...then get over them!
My Top Tirades for Today:
1- EOG Testing and the stress it puts on the learner/teacher relationship. Shame on the state of North Carolina for ruining the thing I spend 145 days building!
2- People who don't take their job of parenting seriously. You have been given a gift from God...if nothing else..... TRY YOUR VERY BEST ON THIS!!
3- The fact that the hours after school FLY by. I want to slow down the minute hand....my life is wonderful and I want to savor each and ever minute of it!
4- Sandwiches for dinner. My colleagues understand this one. Way too complicated to tell here!
5- The fact that OREOS and ICE CREAM are not natural weight loss products. That would surely shrink my waist and make me a happy camper at the same time!

OKAY....so that is enough! We are all really blessed beyond what we deserve. We whine and cry about trivial things and really don't focus on the good in our lives. Take a look around and count your blessings....I think (like me) you quickly feel guilty and realize...hey...my worst day is far better than I deserve!

Monday Mayhem

I love to teach young people. They will NEVER lie! For instance.."Mrs. Freeman..what did you do to your hair? I mean it just looks rough today". WOW...really? It is dress better than you feel day... and still..the criticism follows.

I have to laugh again. They remind me once again that if my voice is gone by 6th period...then I must have been talking too much. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? They are right. Young people have voices that need to be heard. They are dreamers. They are honest. They do not act on pretense or false truths. Because they are in my life, I am challenged to be better and DO better. For these and all those students I have had the pleasure of knowing..I thank God! and pray that I have done my very best... for me, for them and for HIM!!