Heart Filled with Pride and a Moment of Sadness

Today my oldest son sang with the Honor's Chorus from his school at the Salisbury Symphony. He is one of only a few boys and really did not care who was trying out. Today he sang with his whole heart. He threw his head back and sang of Crazy Horse and Harriet Tubman and seemed to emote joy from his sweet little toes all the way to the pinnacle of his yellow topped head. I was so proud. He did what he wanted and did it with passion and joy. He was true to himself and just pretty spectacular... along with about one hundred other kids. He beamed with excitement as he marched in.. caught between being too cool and about to burst. WOW.. what did I do to get to parent this amazing young one? Then (for just a moment) the thought struck me... my time with him and our other son is flying too quickly. They will be out in the world and (for a while) totally bothered by me. I pray that I use my time with them wisely and that they are prepared to face the challenges that lie ahead. My opportunity as their mother is a very serious task and one that often overwhelms me because I don't get any do-overs.
Thank you God for them and for giving them to me.. if only for a little while longer... Please guide me to guide them in the paths of YOUR choosing and keep us all close to you so we can not possibly turn away. AMEN!

Proverbs - Chapter 22:6
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Mountain Top Revival

This weekend we have spent time in Banner Elk, North Carolina. We love to visit here and always have a completely relaxing time. There are no time constraints; agendas; homework; or worries. The biggest decisions usually revolve around if and what we might eat.. but nobody really cares.. AT ALL!! The mountain brings renewed spirits. The mountain reminds us what is and what is NOT important. The mountain reminds of us God's amazing power and generosity in giving us the beauty of HIS earth. The mountain is a place of refuge and a strength renewer. The mountain is lovely... and we know we are loved.

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." ~John Muir

Snow... BE STILL!!

Today is Day 4 of a snowy, icy week in my town. Everyone here rejoices with the first flakes. Quickly, their cries of happiness turn to despair and grovveling that they "can't get out" and are "going to go absolutely nuts". Don't get me wrong.. I get it. I truly do. My small home becomes teensy and tiny with all four of our independent and strong-willed personalities together for too long. However... it is a chance to be still. I really have a hard time with this one. But being still.. gives us a chance to focus on God's voice that we often fail to hear in our busy, hectic, and frantic lives. God paints the landscape. Take a moment to enjoy it. Listen for the solitude and peace and "be still and know that (he) is God" {Psalm 46:10}.

Why Do We STOP??

When the boys were little and in Daycare, I often would pick them up and they would say... I MISSED YOU! and I missed them equally. WHY DO WE STOP saying the truth as we grow older? Every parent and grown-up type person worth copying always said "honesty is the best policy" (or something like that). "If you tell the truth, you won't be in trouble". "As long you are honest, it will all be okay." HOWEVER... as we age... something gets twisted. We no longer say, "hey.. I still am your friend, but you hurt my feelings, made me mad, disappointed me"... whatever would be fitting. Instead we learn, practice and grow quite accomplished at saying "oh, it's okay.. I had too much to do anyway; was enjoying the time to be quiet while I waited on you; or I got so involved I did not notice you failed to call". BALOGNA!!!! PHOOEY!! AND LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!! We are being nothing less than dishonest... and I am quite certain that goes directly against one of the original commandments. This week... I think I am going to try to speak the TRUTH in LOVE.. and pray that like those darling little toddlers I will easily be forgiven and forgive. AMEN!


"But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ" (Eph. 4: 15).

On The Mend

My youngest son had his tonsils removed yesterday morning. He is recovering but his state of being goes from feeling great to flashback induced cries for help and repeating "I wanna' go home" and The Lord's Prayer. This experience has caused me to push my limits of patience. I am NOT a natural nurse but my heart breaks for Alex and I would gladly take his pain if I could. I am probably going to be accused of babying him too much... but this time I will just have to keep doing what I feel is right. I willingly agreed for this surgery to occur and knew that it would cause Alex pain. I HATE that it had to happen but the incessant bouts of strep were taking a toll on us as well. Thankfully, Alex will get well. He is giving us glimpses of that silly smile that usually means he is up to something. This entire experience causes me to pause in awe... HOW COULD our Heavenly Father knowingly send his son to experience the pain and death for MY sins?? Mind boggling!! Thanks be to God for healing!

Subtle Worry?

Tomorrow my youngest son will have his tonsils out. In my mind, I feel confident about the surgeon, the facilities, and his need for the procedure. BUT the Momma in me can not help but be worried. I wonder about the 2.7 billion "what if" questions and dare not allow myself to consider the possibilities of the answers. These answers make my heart race and the eyes well up a bit. I am not an ACTIVE worrier... ever... except when I mailed off "the box" for my National Board Certification. (I passed that one by the way!). However, the subtle worry and momentary panic that follows... I am certainly guilty of. My son is one of the best and most wonderful gifts I have ever been given and for him and the one that gave him to me... I am forever grateful. For now... I have said enough. Time to have a very important conversation with a friend like no other who will give me comfort and ease my fears.. HE will take care of me and my son...his son. I know it!

“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4)

Teeter Totter

This afternoon I saw the film Black Swan. I found the film to be compellingly disturbing. The message I took from it is this... we are all teeter tottering between good and evil. Each day is a struggle for sinners. Most of us do not intentionally sin, we simply give into temptation, fall into the Devil's traps, and fail to THINK before we act.
Another "app" I use suggested that I am uncomfortable with silence.. therefore I fill it and fail to listen to God. GUILTY as charged. With that.. I will leave this passage for us to ponder:
Proverbs 10:8 "The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin."

School Lunch

Tonight we are having my very most favorite school lunch from Wilkesboro Elementary. TACOs, Golden Corn, Apple Sauce, and Cinnamon Buns. I really had a great growing up experience. My teachers were fabulous and our cafeteria ladies could surely beat ANYONE in Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen. You see... they lovingly prepared the meals... FROM SCRATCH. No ready-made mix was ever found in our school's pantry. They arrived early and stayed late and I pray they were compensated for their time. Yeast rolls, homemade soup, and the occasional hot dog.. with homemade chili. These were the meals I enjoyed... not chicken nuggets, chicken fillet, chicken in a roll... all the same taste... just a different shape. NOW WAIT A MINUTE.. I am not slamming on the cafeteria staff members of current time. I realize they are not allowed to have creativity or fun in the kitchen due to budgetary and FDA constraints. However.. I am sad for our world that we are loosing this valuable time and influence on our children. God did not make us all cookie-cutter people. He knows each hair on our heads and blesses us with gifts and talents. God and the Cafeteria Manager had this in common... they realized talents and encouraged them to be developed. Mrs.Baity was the BEST roll maker. She performed her duty lovingly and I never remember anyone else even trying to fill her shoes. Maybe that's the way it should be.. Find your niche and totally rock it. Make yourself unmistakable and valued and be a blessing to all who encounter you doing your thing as only our Master knows you can.

Romans 12:6-8
6Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Sunday's Second Thoughts

Today I fully intended to take down and quickly put away everything Christmas. I planned to do it all in record time and get my life back to "normal". However, I listened to my pastor's words about after Christmas let down and depression. He reminded me that Christmas should not be a one day event. That little Baby Jesus... you know? He grew up. He was sacrificed for sinners everywhere... and Christmas is the beginning. Christmas should be cherished in our hearts and celebrated every day. HIS birth marks the beginning of the promise fulfilled for forgiveness, hope and salvation. SO... you guessed it. The Christmas decorations are still up. Another day I will take the time to put them away... and cherish them and feel grateful and blessed and HE will be with me.

Matthew 1:23
23"Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel," which means, "God is with us."

New Year....New Attitude?

Today marks the beginning of another calendar year. Many people make resolutions and pledge, promise, and THINK they will change. I don't really know if I buy it. I suppose I think...if it is a bad habit that needs to be dropped or a good habit that needs to be started, why wait? I also can't help but be reminded that each day we are GIVEN and each breath we take are chances to "do over" in our Heavenly Father's eyes. HE does not wait to forgive. HE does not love conditionally. HE asks very little, yet firmly, consistently, and unselfishly gives so much. SO... rather than make a "resolution" that I will likely find emptiness and failure in, I will CHOOSE to gratefully accept the gift of love and pardon from my creator. If I live in the WORD and in a manner that is pleasing to him...I WILL NOT FAIL!

"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me"
Philippians 4:13