Hearts??

I recently read this post on a friend's Facebook Page:

"Just had a conversation with Kayla about love. She is 5. According to her, when you are in love, there are 3 things you do for the person you are in love with.... 1. Kiss them a lot (check) 2. "Sass up when you are going to see them (check) and 3. Draw lots of hearts for them". (thanks Mendy Benge for the use of your post and Sheri Trexler for teaching this sweet girl all about love).

So.. her number 3 rule makes me pause. What happens in love that we quit drawing the hearts? I understand that true love grows, matures, develops, and endures some pretty rough times. I understand that life and love will not always be romance and fireworks... it just doesn't happen. HOWEVER... why do we quit drawing the hearts? To me they are visual and kinesthetic reminders of what good is actually present in our lives. Perhaps we tire of the "I <3 so and so" bumper stickers, but what would hurt to leave a note to the one you claim to love that just said "I LOVE YOU". When I even think about writing those hearts, I just smile and feel myself flush a little. Mentally, I am taken back to those moments when I fought like crazy NOT to love my husband, yet for whatever reason... here I am 14 years later.. still hearting him!!

I think I am going to go doodle a while and lose myself in the blessings I will draw.. because GOD hearts me!!

1 Peter 4:8
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

HEAVEN...

So in the last twenty four hours, I have been bombarded with thoughts about Heaven. I read the book Heaven is For Real; a true account of a little boy's reported death and experience in Heaven. Trying not to spoil the story, he made it sound so inviting and confirmed that it was truly an awesome place... real awe... not the trite, over-used phrase of my adored sixth grade loves.

Around age six or so, I remember telling my mom not to cry when her grandfather passed away. I told her "he had gone to play with Jesus". Most recently, our son Alex (at age three or so), could identify my Aunt Marjorie (whom he never met on Earth) in every picture we had of her. He also shared about things he and "Old Pawpaw Drye" talked about in Heaven before he came to live with us. These things have given me comfort and made me feel peaceful about most folks' passing.

On the way home tonight, I heard a country song, "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away". They lyrics talk about packing up the kids and heading for the day to share some time with grandpa and pets and those who have gone before us. What an exciting and (again) AWEsome thought.

I find myself with spinning thoughts and can only come up with theseconclusions... Make today the best you can. Live as if today were your last day. and TRY, try to make Earth a Heavenly place wherever you can!

Prayers needed in this endeavor and I know the blessings are awaiting. It's going to be AWEsome!!

Signs of the Times

Yesterday I took my rising sixth grader to get his North Carolina required shots to begin middle school. It was rather uneventful, except we were in the doctor's office for two hours. He did fine for a bit, but then grew bored. It made me laugh and he danced, sang, played with the examination table, blood pressure cuff, etc. Five years ago, when we sat in this same room preparing for kindergarten, I am sure I had a bag with books, toys, and snacks. NOW... I had nothing. This was another sign of changing times.

On the way home, we noticed the orange road construction ahead signs. As we approached the work zone, I noticed a flag in the middle of the road...but no human. Instead there was a long metal arm and presumably another cylindrical device that held a sensor or camera within. Additionally, there was a old fashioned traffic light (with the green missing). For a moment, I felt like I had been abducted by aliens. I saw no humans. Was this entire work place automated and run by some Oz like character from behind a curtain? Just then, the arm raised, the light turned yellow and I proceeded with caution. We accelerated up the hill and found a bevy of "working" men scattered under shade trees taking a break. Some things... well ... they never change!

Natural Highs...

Today has been a series of natural highs...
1- Seeing my oldest son on the front page.. the FRONT page of our local newspaper enjoying living history with people who love it. Proud moments... for my son, my community, and for people who go unheralded.
2- Seeing and touching (in one case) animals I never knew existed. I love learning something new and really need to be reminded that the world is sooooo much bigger than I consider.
3- Lunch with a bevy of friends and leaving them feeling excited about our next gathering. I love realizing how blessed I am to have an array of friends with talents and characteristics that are certainly worth copying.
4- Hearing my oldest rant about the fun he had at camp.. while on route to guitar lessons. I love how diverse my family is and that my husband and I are on the same page about encouraging our boys in the paths of their choosing. We may be crazy... but certainly CRAZY about them.
5- Having five new children come to Vacation Bible School... despite the fact that it was the last "teaching" night. I love learning that their cousin (who is five) told them they HAD TO COME! and that their Grandma was bold enough to listen to the little child. God's work... you bet ya'!!

At this moment (11:48 pm), I am filled with hope, love, joy, and EXCITEMENT for life. I want good for those around me and am proud of others and their works. Hang in there dear ones... your natural highs are coming. Look for them!! Amen.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Just Say YES!!!!

Today an opportunity was presented me. One I have many times pondered and really thought.. no way! That is just not who I am or what I WANT! But insanely... I found myself saying, "well, if the time is any day but Monday... sure I would be glad to do that." In my head were echos of "what are you thinking? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!! Really, Maria... snap out of it... would ya?" However I just kept nodding my head and before the end of the day am really quite excited about a new and different opportunity. The bottom line is this.. WHY NOT?? The folks behind this chance believe in me. They trust me to take the risk and I feel certain they will NOT let me fall too hard on my face! I will uncover untapped skills and be forced to look at things differently.. which I think just recently I wrote about. Irony.. in my face!! A friend wrote recently that she did not want to have regrets as she looked back on her life. She is living her life to the fullest! Her words have been on my heart.. so I said YES!! (Thanks Mendy for the push...) Pray for me during the excitement and change! I will keep you posted!


2 Corinthians 13:5
"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?"

With HIM.. I can NOT fail!

Chicken Wing Ponderings...

Last night, we went to East Coast Wings for dinner with the boys and another couple. I really did not want dinner. I wanted dessert (AND SINCE we were still technically on vacation...it was a viable option). In any event, everyone read through the menu and I became fixated on ALL the options at East Coast Wings. There seemed to be a million choices! Okay, maybe seventy five. BUT LOTS TO CHOOSE FROM... nevertheless! Everyone at our table (except me) ordered their desired wings. They all arrived and looked very similar. Little brown, fried items in a variety of sauces with slight variances in color. THANKFULLY.. everyone shared one of each of their's with me. They were each unique and wonderful. Each had a different flavor and I felt like a wine connoisseur savoring the textures and blends of spices. One would be surprisingly sweet, another a bit spicy only to be followed by a comforting sweet flavor to leave you wanting more... very different. YET.. here is the thing.. they all started the same. They were chicken! This makes me think about humans. We are unique and different. We have our passions our "hot" buttons and needs and desires. Those things are like the spices of our lives. They can be blended to be distasteful and tragic or with a little tweaking and modification.. a perfect blend. Today I give thanks for the fact that God loves us enough to make us unique and wonderful. AND YES... I did only order dessert. It was shared among four of us and it was delightful.. made better by the four spoons seeking out their favorite morsels. AMEN!

Psalm 139

From a different path...

Today is a rainy, dreary, lazy kind of day. I had a plan and rose at 6:00am to follow it. Then a call came and the voice of reason won. Plans scrapped! I am okay with that, but had to ease the bad news to the boys by remaining in Wilkes a bit longer. Alex needed Nana and Papa to watch the "new" True Grit with him. All four are huddled in the den, enjoying the show and leftover Mexican food for breakfast. It is unconventional and a blessing!! Sometimes, we need to do things differently. The expectations lower and we allow ourselves to see, really see the beauty, possibility, opportunity that was there all along. I write today via an iPhone.…. My Dad has one, I do not. This challenges me! However, I am doing this normal thing....Differently! I may let this guide me today..everything old is new again!!!

Foggy Phenomena....

Today as we entered our "last day" of time away in the mountains. We were observing the gorgeous sunny day, amazing mountain views, cool morning breezes, nature's symphony... you get the picture. Then, we observed an awesome phenomena. We sat in the den of our condo... filled with wall to wall windows.. and literally watched the fog roll in. It came from nowhere and engulfed the entire mountain peak. Alex ran in to say that he had "caught some in his shirt". He presented a damp shirt.. sure enough. This whole thing made me think a bit about our lives. Sometimes we stand unaware of the fog that will overtake our lives. We let those things weigh heavily upon our hearts and we really, truly cannot see past the moment and the fear, stress, and angst that the fog brings. But here is the one true thing.. and please be comforted... just when we began formulating a rainy day plan, the Master swept his hands over the mountainside and the fog was gone. HE can make it right. Even in the fog, he's there guiding, gently reaching out for our hands... give yourself the right to be out of control. Put your hand in his and allow HIM to take you out of the fog.

Sunday Morning Church

This morning was a lazy one. I am in the gorgeous mountains of North Carolina. I slept late... after waking to see the sun crest over the mountain from my balcony. I listened to little boys wake and talk and compromise and laugh with everything they are. I have observed (unnoticed) my sons making friends and being gentle with children smaller than them. I heard the wondrous sounds of those same small children asking, "Will you be back later? Can we play again?" Each of the three loves I am here with now has hugged and kissed me and unconsciously let me know that I am good enough and exactly what they need... right now as I am flaws and all. So.. no.. I did not sit in a pew, read from the Bible, or sing hymns... but I fill full and blessed and KNOW that these gifts are a gift from God.

"A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease."
John Muir

Blessings to you.. Worship HIM wherever you are!

Anticipation... MAKING ME WAIT!!

We have exciting things on our horizon. Vacation, VBS, pool time, sports physicals... etc., .etc. All these things cause us to have enthusiastic and hopeful feelings. We are really looking for opportunities to fill ourselves back up... with happiness, replacement memories, rest, peace, and joy. Carly Simon even sang a song about it.. Anticipation.. is making me late.. Anticipation is making me wait... THE BEST PART OF ALL IS... the anticipation. All too often we are let down, deflated, depressed, and dejected after the much anticipated event is over. But here is the thing~ Carly (in her musical genius and wisdom) finishes off the song by singing "And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days". RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW is all I am guaranteed. I should rejoice in the moment and make it ALL I want it to be. I should bring joy to wherever I am, in whatever ways I can.. and stay right here.. 'cause these are the good old days.

Thanks be to God for all HE does and his gracious anticipation of tomorrows to come.

Child Care, Motherly Love, and A-ha Moments....

Today the boys and I had the honor of sitting for a friend's (almost) one year old son. The boys.. those ones that I scarily navigated through their first year. The ones that I often observed in disbelief as my husband would know.. just know what they needed. Most of the time.. he was right. As MY babies and I played with and cared for this little one today.. I found my mommy groove. I knew.. just knew when he needed to be changed. I knew... just knew when to go to his room and rock him. I knew.. just knew when he was really asleep and when it was safe to lay him in his crib without any great awakenings.
My boys were amazed.. they had those puzzled, yet awed faces that every once in a while I achieve because I know.. just know.. exactly what they need. It causes me to stop and thank GOD for mothers intuition; for HIM knowing.. just knowing.. the mother I needed... and being gracious enough to give her to me! AND for granting me the opportunity to put into practice with my own two the things she knew.. just knew!!

Interview Insanity..

Today I had the honor of sitting in on interviews for a new teacher to our team. There were four candidates and each brought a totally different perspective on teaching and life in general. Tonight.. my head hurts. It was very challenging for me not to dialogue with these folks, shake my head, nod approvingly, give them "sustaining feedback" in their quest to answer the questions in the exactly perfect magical way. All this made me reflect on my initial teaching interviews.
Picture this.. fresh scrubbed, more fit, longer hair Maria.. fresh out of a Master's Program for Special Education and READY and KNOWING that I would save every single child. EVERY.. SINGLE... ONE..
I wonder if my answers seemed childish, pollyanna-ish, rose-colored glasses-ish. Did the people like my energy and enthusiasm or did they see me as hyper without a purpose? Did my numerous years of working with children in a variety of arenas interest them? entertain them? or underwhelm them? I suppose I will never know.
I do know this.. I thank Colleen Bush (and the others who interviewed me.. sorry, I can't remember who was there) for taking a risk on me, despite the fact that I had never taught middle school. My first three years were not always easy and I laugh at some of the typical pitfalls I headed right into and face planted! NICE! I appreciate the guidance of teams and teachers who allowed me to take risks and guide me through making it better and better. I also thank these interviewed folks today. You have given me food for thought. I have stolen some of your enthusiasm and may God find you happy and where HE wants you to be in a few weeks.

Romans 15,4
"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

The past is just that... Reflection allows us HOPE to teach better, love more, enjoy greater, and laugh louder while we fulfill the calling HE placed on teacher's hearts. Thanks be to God for these and all of our many blessings!

Words.. and their Power!

Sometimes you are having a mediocre day and someone speaks to you and the day immediately gets better. Conversely, you are having a mediocre day and someone speaks to you and your day worsens. Either way.. the words spoken have power. I admit I am guilty of letting words affect me. I am an analyzer in that "you said this, but did you mean that?" kind of way. This causes me some angst. I allow other people's words to affect me. NOT A GOOD IDEA. I also must consider what MY words do to others. Are they worth hearing? Are they worth being said? Are they pleasing to the ONE who loves me most? Certainly food for thought....

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the Day of Judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned," (Matt. 12:36).