Creative Discipline???

Today my boys have been ROWDIE... remember the cheer?? They have totally annoyed the snot out of me, each other, and even themselves. They are 10 and 11 years old and weigh over 100 pounds each. The whole time out-spanking cycle is quickly fading as effective or practical. This morning they were required to hold their hands out.. one at ear level and the other at hip level and walk toward each other until bellies touched. (Act it out if you have to). They ended up laughing and sort of got along the rest of the afternoon. LATER.... they were CRAZY in the car. Their Dad had them put their hands on the top of their heads and not talk the entire drive home from music class. It's a thirty-five minute drive. They then had to stand at the barn while he fed the animals with tiny pebbles in their hands while holding them at a ninety degree angle to their bodies. THEY HATED IT... no tears, no guilty feelings, and surprisingly (and thankfully) they have come into the house and pleasantly agreed to watch Stand By Me on television. At this moment, they are playing "this little piggy" with each other's feet and laughing riotously. This is a sign of their solidarity.

The entire day causes me to reflect about how God sometimes gets our attention in unusual and unconventional ways. Small, subtle whispers to get us back on track are lovingly bestowed rather than the curse of hell-fire and brimstone. I pray every day to be a good parent and wife and behave in a manner pleasing to HIM. I am thankful.... even on our worst and craziest days. Praying God will guide me and I will be wise enough to listen...


"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" Proverbs 22:6

The Cowboy Way

This weekend we celebrated the birthday of one of our "cowboy friend's" affectionately known as "Brother Dale". The boys were absolutely giddy as we crossed into the Virginia mountains and were oooooozzzzzing of excitement. Sadly, as we crested one of the mammoth hills, we heard an ugly poooof bum bum bump. Something had happened and we lost pulling power. THIS is not a good thing when you have a horse trailer with horses and four people's gear for the entire weekend. We called our mechanic and he felt we should "limp along" to our destination. Upon arrival, the entire camp went to work. Everyone who knew anything about motors took a look at the engine and it was decided to look at it again in the morning.

We then proceeded to fellowship and visit with everybody there. Andy took his guitar and he and another guy took turns playing while we all tried to sing along. EVERYONE was welcome and the "cowboys" made certain ladies had chairs. Snacks, drinks, and laughter were shared into the wee hours of the morning under a showcase of God's talents in the clear night sky. Children ran wild, got dirty, played in the fire, and were warned "if they didn't stop.. they'd 'pee' in the bed".

Saturday morning, camp was a flurry of activity. Andy and Brother Dale (the birthday boy, remember?) took off to find a part. Everyone else waited a while, then decided that Dale nor Andy would want the day wasted waiting on them. My boys took off with their grandfather and some other "horse friends" and I never doubted they would be well taken care of.

Andy and Dale returned, created a part since one could not be found and the riders returned to camp. Andy nor Dale never did get to ride. A HUGE meal was prepared and everyone was more than happy to wait for their turn to eat while being lulled into relaxation by nature's symphony. More food, stories, and laughter were shared until we all eased to our beds and felt the contentment of friendship.

Sunday morning brought the moment of truth... would the "fixing" be enough? Unfortunately, as we headed back down the mountain, our truck took another turn for the worst. A zizzzing sound and we had nothing.. we coasted to the side of the road followed by my father in law for safety. As Andy's blood pressure began to rise, guess who came pulling in? You guessed it.. Brother Dale...

To make a too long story short, we were helped by many to arrive safely at our home. THIS is the Cowboy Way. Go together, return together. Share what you have. Be hospitable. Help others when you can. These men may not say "I love you" to one another... but to me.. everything they do and are epitomizes the love God wants for all of us to display.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (NIV, John 13:34-35)

Circular thoughts..

Today is August 1. The turn of the calendar page matches the turn of my stomach. Really? August already? You see, dear ones, August causes me to feel that 'itch" in my being... the one that starts the process of circular anxiety. It goes something like this:
OH NO.. school is starting soon, I have WAY too much to do and can't get into my classroom! What kids will I have? What challenges will I face? What fun will we have? (temporary smile).. then the stress engine starts back up... Have I done enough this summer to make it memorable for my boys to write an essay about? How many projects can I complete before I have to go back??Why did I not cross off more of my to do list? How come I was unsuccessful at ending world hunger? loosing 200 pounds? and curing cancer?

You see.. in the world of Education.. August is our "technical" NEW YEAR. I am torn each year between "working like a mad woman", "living it up" and being a "lazy bum" because of the long days I know lie ahead where NONE of these will be an option. Then there is a tremendous tinge of guilt that says (as many people actually have the gaul to say as well).. "be glad you get summer off". Here is the thing.. It is necessary. It is required. Each child needs a new and fresh start. Without summer break, none of us could be fresh.. and that would be very sad and unfulfilling.

BUT WAIT.. while you are on my crazy train.. here is HOPE!! At the same time, I am excited. I GET to start another year with amazing students who keep me humble and real. I have the opportunity every day... every... day... to show them love and compassion and encourage them to be great students and even better people. I am blessed to have wonderful colleagues to share the journey with and we are stronger than any bad day or policy that can come our way. So yes... enthusiasm and excitement with a pinch of apprehension is the order of the day... a hearty welcome to you August first!!

Hearts??

I recently read this post on a friend's Facebook Page:

"Just had a conversation with Kayla about love. She is 5. According to her, when you are in love, there are 3 things you do for the person you are in love with.... 1. Kiss them a lot (check) 2. "Sass up when you are going to see them (check) and 3. Draw lots of hearts for them". (thanks Mendy Benge for the use of your post and Sheri Trexler for teaching this sweet girl all about love).

So.. her number 3 rule makes me pause. What happens in love that we quit drawing the hearts? I understand that true love grows, matures, develops, and endures some pretty rough times. I understand that life and love will not always be romance and fireworks... it just doesn't happen. HOWEVER... why do we quit drawing the hearts? To me they are visual and kinesthetic reminders of what good is actually present in our lives. Perhaps we tire of the "I <3 so and so" bumper stickers, but what would hurt to leave a note to the one you claim to love that just said "I LOVE YOU". When I even think about writing those hearts, I just smile and feel myself flush a little. Mentally, I am taken back to those moments when I fought like crazy NOT to love my husband, yet for whatever reason... here I am 14 years later.. still hearting him!!

I think I am going to go doodle a while and lose myself in the blessings I will draw.. because GOD hearts me!!

1 Peter 4:8
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

HEAVEN...

So in the last twenty four hours, I have been bombarded with thoughts about Heaven. I read the book Heaven is For Real; a true account of a little boy's reported death and experience in Heaven. Trying not to spoil the story, he made it sound so inviting and confirmed that it was truly an awesome place... real awe... not the trite, over-used phrase of my adored sixth grade loves.

Around age six or so, I remember telling my mom not to cry when her grandfather passed away. I told her "he had gone to play with Jesus". Most recently, our son Alex (at age three or so), could identify my Aunt Marjorie (whom he never met on Earth) in every picture we had of her. He also shared about things he and "Old Pawpaw Drye" talked about in Heaven before he came to live with us. These things have given me comfort and made me feel peaceful about most folks' passing.

On the way home tonight, I heard a country song, "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away". They lyrics talk about packing up the kids and heading for the day to share some time with grandpa and pets and those who have gone before us. What an exciting and (again) AWEsome thought.

I find myself with spinning thoughts and can only come up with theseconclusions... Make today the best you can. Live as if today were your last day. and TRY, try to make Earth a Heavenly place wherever you can!

Prayers needed in this endeavor and I know the blessings are awaiting. It's going to be AWEsome!!

Signs of the Times

Yesterday I took my rising sixth grader to get his North Carolina required shots to begin middle school. It was rather uneventful, except we were in the doctor's office for two hours. He did fine for a bit, but then grew bored. It made me laugh and he danced, sang, played with the examination table, blood pressure cuff, etc. Five years ago, when we sat in this same room preparing for kindergarten, I am sure I had a bag with books, toys, and snacks. NOW... I had nothing. This was another sign of changing times.

On the way home, we noticed the orange road construction ahead signs. As we approached the work zone, I noticed a flag in the middle of the road...but no human. Instead there was a long metal arm and presumably another cylindrical device that held a sensor or camera within. Additionally, there was a old fashioned traffic light (with the green missing). For a moment, I felt like I had been abducted by aliens. I saw no humans. Was this entire work place automated and run by some Oz like character from behind a curtain? Just then, the arm raised, the light turned yellow and I proceeded with caution. We accelerated up the hill and found a bevy of "working" men scattered under shade trees taking a break. Some things... well ... they never change!

Natural Highs...

Today has been a series of natural highs...
1- Seeing my oldest son on the front page.. the FRONT page of our local newspaper enjoying living history with people who love it. Proud moments... for my son, my community, and for people who go unheralded.
2- Seeing and touching (in one case) animals I never knew existed. I love learning something new and really need to be reminded that the world is sooooo much bigger than I consider.
3- Lunch with a bevy of friends and leaving them feeling excited about our next gathering. I love realizing how blessed I am to have an array of friends with talents and characteristics that are certainly worth copying.
4- Hearing my oldest rant about the fun he had at camp.. while on route to guitar lessons. I love how diverse my family is and that my husband and I are on the same page about encouraging our boys in the paths of their choosing. We may be crazy... but certainly CRAZY about them.
5- Having five new children come to Vacation Bible School... despite the fact that it was the last "teaching" night. I love learning that their cousin (who is five) told them they HAD TO COME! and that their Grandma was bold enough to listen to the little child. God's work... you bet ya'!!

At this moment (11:48 pm), I am filled with hope, love, joy, and EXCITEMENT for life. I want good for those around me and am proud of others and their works. Hang in there dear ones... your natural highs are coming. Look for them!! Amen.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Just Say YES!!!!

Today an opportunity was presented me. One I have many times pondered and really thought.. no way! That is just not who I am or what I WANT! But insanely... I found myself saying, "well, if the time is any day but Monday... sure I would be glad to do that." In my head were echos of "what are you thinking? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!! Really, Maria... snap out of it... would ya?" However I just kept nodding my head and before the end of the day am really quite excited about a new and different opportunity. The bottom line is this.. WHY NOT?? The folks behind this chance believe in me. They trust me to take the risk and I feel certain they will NOT let me fall too hard on my face! I will uncover untapped skills and be forced to look at things differently.. which I think just recently I wrote about. Irony.. in my face!! A friend wrote recently that she did not want to have regrets as she looked back on her life. She is living her life to the fullest! Her words have been on my heart.. so I said YES!! (Thanks Mendy for the push...) Pray for me during the excitement and change! I will keep you posted!


2 Corinthians 13:5
"Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?"

With HIM.. I can NOT fail!

Chicken Wing Ponderings...

Last night, we went to East Coast Wings for dinner with the boys and another couple. I really did not want dinner. I wanted dessert (AND SINCE we were still technically on vacation...it was a viable option). In any event, everyone read through the menu and I became fixated on ALL the options at East Coast Wings. There seemed to be a million choices! Okay, maybe seventy five. BUT LOTS TO CHOOSE FROM... nevertheless! Everyone at our table (except me) ordered their desired wings. They all arrived and looked very similar. Little brown, fried items in a variety of sauces with slight variances in color. THANKFULLY.. everyone shared one of each of their's with me. They were each unique and wonderful. Each had a different flavor and I felt like a wine connoisseur savoring the textures and blends of spices. One would be surprisingly sweet, another a bit spicy only to be followed by a comforting sweet flavor to leave you wanting more... very different. YET.. here is the thing.. they all started the same. They were chicken! This makes me think about humans. We are unique and different. We have our passions our "hot" buttons and needs and desires. Those things are like the spices of our lives. They can be blended to be distasteful and tragic or with a little tweaking and modification.. a perfect blend. Today I give thanks for the fact that God loves us enough to make us unique and wonderful. AND YES... I did only order dessert. It was shared among four of us and it was delightful.. made better by the four spoons seeking out their favorite morsels. AMEN!

Psalm 139

From a different path...

Today is a rainy, dreary, lazy kind of day. I had a plan and rose at 6:00am to follow it. Then a call came and the voice of reason won. Plans scrapped! I am okay with that, but had to ease the bad news to the boys by remaining in Wilkes a bit longer. Alex needed Nana and Papa to watch the "new" True Grit with him. All four are huddled in the den, enjoying the show and leftover Mexican food for breakfast. It is unconventional and a blessing!! Sometimes, we need to do things differently. The expectations lower and we allow ourselves to see, really see the beauty, possibility, opportunity that was there all along. I write today via an iPhone.…. My Dad has one, I do not. This challenges me! However, I am doing this normal thing....Differently! I may let this guide me today..everything old is new again!!!

Foggy Phenomena....

Today as we entered our "last day" of time away in the mountains. We were observing the gorgeous sunny day, amazing mountain views, cool morning breezes, nature's symphony... you get the picture. Then, we observed an awesome phenomena. We sat in the den of our condo... filled with wall to wall windows.. and literally watched the fog roll in. It came from nowhere and engulfed the entire mountain peak. Alex ran in to say that he had "caught some in his shirt". He presented a damp shirt.. sure enough. This whole thing made me think a bit about our lives. Sometimes we stand unaware of the fog that will overtake our lives. We let those things weigh heavily upon our hearts and we really, truly cannot see past the moment and the fear, stress, and angst that the fog brings. But here is the one true thing.. and please be comforted... just when we began formulating a rainy day plan, the Master swept his hands over the mountainside and the fog was gone. HE can make it right. Even in the fog, he's there guiding, gently reaching out for our hands... give yourself the right to be out of control. Put your hand in his and allow HIM to take you out of the fog.

Sunday Morning Church

This morning was a lazy one. I am in the gorgeous mountains of North Carolina. I slept late... after waking to see the sun crest over the mountain from my balcony. I listened to little boys wake and talk and compromise and laugh with everything they are. I have observed (unnoticed) my sons making friends and being gentle with children smaller than them. I heard the wondrous sounds of those same small children asking, "Will you be back later? Can we play again?" Each of the three loves I am here with now has hugged and kissed me and unconsciously let me know that I am good enough and exactly what they need... right now as I am flaws and all. So.. no.. I did not sit in a pew, read from the Bible, or sing hymns... but I fill full and blessed and KNOW that these gifts are a gift from God.

"A few minutes ago every tree was excited, bowing to the roaring storm, waving, swirling, tossing their branches in glorious enthusiasm like worship. But though to the outer ear these trees are now silent, their songs never cease."
John Muir

Blessings to you.. Worship HIM wherever you are!

Anticipation... MAKING ME WAIT!!

We have exciting things on our horizon. Vacation, VBS, pool time, sports physicals... etc., .etc. All these things cause us to have enthusiastic and hopeful feelings. We are really looking for opportunities to fill ourselves back up... with happiness, replacement memories, rest, peace, and joy. Carly Simon even sang a song about it.. Anticipation.. is making me late.. Anticipation is making me wait... THE BEST PART OF ALL IS... the anticipation. All too often we are let down, deflated, depressed, and dejected after the much anticipated event is over. But here is the thing~ Carly (in her musical genius and wisdom) finishes off the song by singing "And stay right here 'cause these are the good old days". RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW is all I am guaranteed. I should rejoice in the moment and make it ALL I want it to be. I should bring joy to wherever I am, in whatever ways I can.. and stay right here.. 'cause these are the good old days.

Thanks be to God for all HE does and his gracious anticipation of tomorrows to come.

Child Care, Motherly Love, and A-ha Moments....

Today the boys and I had the honor of sitting for a friend's (almost) one year old son. The boys.. those ones that I scarily navigated through their first year. The ones that I often observed in disbelief as my husband would know.. just know what they needed. Most of the time.. he was right. As MY babies and I played with and cared for this little one today.. I found my mommy groove. I knew.. just knew when he needed to be changed. I knew... just knew when to go to his room and rock him. I knew.. just knew when he was really asleep and when it was safe to lay him in his crib without any great awakenings.
My boys were amazed.. they had those puzzled, yet awed faces that every once in a while I achieve because I know.. just know.. exactly what they need. It causes me to stop and thank GOD for mothers intuition; for HIM knowing.. just knowing.. the mother I needed... and being gracious enough to give her to me! AND for granting me the opportunity to put into practice with my own two the things she knew.. just knew!!

Interview Insanity..

Today I had the honor of sitting in on interviews for a new teacher to our team. There were four candidates and each brought a totally different perspective on teaching and life in general. Tonight.. my head hurts. It was very challenging for me not to dialogue with these folks, shake my head, nod approvingly, give them "sustaining feedback" in their quest to answer the questions in the exactly perfect magical way. All this made me reflect on my initial teaching interviews.
Picture this.. fresh scrubbed, more fit, longer hair Maria.. fresh out of a Master's Program for Special Education and READY and KNOWING that I would save every single child. EVERY.. SINGLE... ONE..
I wonder if my answers seemed childish, pollyanna-ish, rose-colored glasses-ish. Did the people like my energy and enthusiasm or did they see me as hyper without a purpose? Did my numerous years of working with children in a variety of arenas interest them? entertain them? or underwhelm them? I suppose I will never know.
I do know this.. I thank Colleen Bush (and the others who interviewed me.. sorry, I can't remember who was there) for taking a risk on me, despite the fact that I had never taught middle school. My first three years were not always easy and I laugh at some of the typical pitfalls I headed right into and face planted! NICE! I appreciate the guidance of teams and teachers who allowed me to take risks and guide me through making it better and better. I also thank these interviewed folks today. You have given me food for thought. I have stolen some of your enthusiasm and may God find you happy and where HE wants you to be in a few weeks.

Romans 15,4
"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

The past is just that... Reflection allows us HOPE to teach better, love more, enjoy greater, and laugh louder while we fulfill the calling HE placed on teacher's hearts. Thanks be to God for these and all of our many blessings!

Words.. and their Power!

Sometimes you are having a mediocre day and someone speaks to you and the day immediately gets better. Conversely, you are having a mediocre day and someone speaks to you and your day worsens. Either way.. the words spoken have power. I admit I am guilty of letting words affect me. I am an analyzer in that "you said this, but did you mean that?" kind of way. This causes me some angst. I allow other people's words to affect me. NOT A GOOD IDEA. I also must consider what MY words do to others. Are they worth hearing? Are they worth being said? Are they pleasing to the ONE who loves me most? Certainly food for thought....

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the Day of Judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned," (Matt. 12:36).

Social butterfly?

I went to a Street Concert last night in our town. There was live music, lots of scents of food and fun times, and lots of people. I had a very good time. I danced with my husband. I enjoyed spending time with my oldest, most Bohemian son. I enjoyed meeting new people and swapping summer time stories and laughter. Seems easy, right? I must admit.. I found myself having to push myself rather than move to the side and become a people watcher. At the end of the night... my head hurt. It still hurts this morning. Being social is not always easy for me. For those that know me.. I am sure you are laughing and thinking really?? You never shut-up!!
But here's the truth.... I sometimes revert back to that goofy, insecure, middle school kid inside where I am SURE no one wants to be friends. I feel a little "less"... adequate, pretty, fit, successful, etc., etc., than I perceive others around me to be. Perhaps, this phenomena is a side effect of my career-- middle school teacher. You become what you surround yourself by (or so I have heard). YET, at the same time, this overwhelming feeling is a gift. Since this feeling has never fully left me, I "get' my students and lead them to be (hopefully) okay with themselves and one another.
So yeah... the headache is still here. My only choice.. praise God for the moments that make me real and human and I strive to be who HE intends me to be.

Teacher Pleasing Behavior??

Tonight I had bass lessons. LAST week I had the unmitigated gaul to take a song of my choosing and "ask questions" knowing that my teacher could not stifle my enthusiasm. WE totally figured the song out for my husband and I and it was pretty cool. This week, I dared not take the same attitude. I am aware that he has an agenda and NEEDS for me to learn in the manner he thinks is best.. however.. I did not practice, yet JUST KEEP NAILING IT!! This is so foreign to me. Why did I not take this instrument up earlier? SO.. tonight I listened attentively and answered his questions with just a slight lilt in my voice so that he could confirm my correct answer.. and thus feel pride in his student. The process IS really fun... and the outcome is spectacular. SO.. teacher pleasing or not... I am grateful for new skills and a new avenue to express the desires of my heart!

“The Lord was ready to save me; Therefore we will sing my songs with stringed instruments All the days of our life, in the house of the Lord.” ~ Isaiah 38:20

Thunder Storms and Pitiful Pets.....

We are currently experiencing one of God's amazing natural phenomena... a summer storm. I love these... don't know if I always have but certainly do now. Our pets on the other hand are NOT fans. Holly, the 125 pound German Shepherd who is mighty and ferocious is reduced to a whimpering ball of rain-soaked fur. Ruby, the 80 pound Bloodhound "baby" is still not exactly sure what this whole thing even is. They are scratching at the door, expecting to be let in our home.. which has NEVER happened for either of them. Hmmmm.... This causes me to pause.....
We all should be a little nervous of the unknown. It keeps us alert to danger and protects us from our own innocence. It (hopefully) shelters us from falling into traps of torment and temptation. We really ought to be mindful of these things always. BUT NO.. we are lowly sinners who fall into the monotony of the world and its routines. Every once in a while, it takes GOD and his magnificent light show to slow us down and evaluate.. just what are we doing? and is it to HIS glory? I know I will never create a masterpiece like the one before me. BUT I CAN follow the master's plan to his laud and honor..
Thanks God for the show... it is AWEsome.....

MORGAN Meltdowns and Maniacal Memories

Today was my oldest son's 5th grade graduation. He received several awards and was really excited about the day ( as evidenced by his happy dance out of the auditorium). As soon as they marched in.... the lump began to form. YOU SEE DEAR FRIENDS... I am not good with emotions. For some insane reason, I feel the need to CONTROL... control.. CoNtRol.. myself on all occasions. I resist "letting go" for fear that I may never "get it back". BUT TODAY... I just embraced the moment. These people.. the staff at Morgan School have aided in the raising of my son. They have taught us all so very much! Lessons that are truly priceless. They BELIEVE in Mack and never say "you can't" or "really? I don't think so". Mrs. Petre and Mrs. Gobble loved Mack through kindergarten. He was a little songbird and everything worked out perfectly once he got some Motown under his belt. Mrs. Benge loved him during hard family times and fuzzy first grade q-tip hair. Mrs. Hallquist loved Mack into finding his own music and encouraged his love for nature and history. Mr. Raitti taught Mack about "manly" elementary teachers and sticking to difficult tasks. Mrs. Zimmerman taught Mack about first "crushes" and that loving what you do is the ONLY choice worth making in life. Mrs. Morefield taught Mack about character and giving 110% because it is the right thing to do. AND MOST RECENTLY... Mrs. Jacobs, Mrs. Eller, and Mrs. Newman have loved him through emerging puberty and insane coughing fits.
The entire Morgan Staff has helped Mack find his voice and have encouraged him to be true to himself... even when it is not fashionable or popular. Morgan Schools KNOWS Mack. Not just superficially or in a "it's my job" manner. They encourage and laugh with and hug on my boy... every day... every day... EVERY DAY!!
For these folks... I am grateful and blessed. So yeah... the tears are still at the rims and have striped my face all day long. BUT I AM NOT SAD.. no.. not at all. Just a humbled parent who is overwhelmed with joy and gratitude at the good fortune bestowed upon my family. THANKS BE TO GOD for these people and their magnificence.

Toucans 2011--- Thanks for the memories!

Tonight I celebrated 87 of my favorite sixth graders and my wonderful team of teachers. I AM BLESSED!! I don't know if I inherit the best kids.. but I know that I end with them They grow, they change, they doubt, the believe... and ultimately they leave footprints on my heart..never, never to be forgotten.
This year's highlights..
Open House and your sweet, horrifed faces
The first time someone said "sucks, shut up or stupid"... BIG FAT No NO words!!
Touching Spirit Bear and your breathless anticipation... "Is he gonna' die???"
Chorus Concerts with Edelweiss... I always get a lump in my throat when you swing in those sweet falsetto voices!!
Weekly Reports and Reward Times
The first dance where you actually danced and quit running
Acne, braces, glasses, and puberty
Hugs and smiles and sweet stories shared
Book projects and ah-ha moments
I Have Who Has... wow what a CRAZY competition!!
Excellence, perseverance, encouragement and LOVE!!
YOU... each and every one of you!!

May God bless you in all you do. I will miss you but will never be too far away to help in times of need and CHEER you on in your successes! You make my heart sing.. and for that I am grateful!!!

Wedding Days and Anniversary Daze

Tuesday, June 7, 2011... I will celebrate 14 years of marriage.. FOURTEEN YEARS?? How did that happen?? I can hardly believe it. I remember telling my grandfather in my early twenty's that I knew I wanted to be a mom.. just none too sure about the whole wife thing... THEN one CRAZY night I met Shrek. I had dated someone for a very long time and really, really did not want anything serious. Serious or not.. here we are. Fourteen years of ups, downs, and all arounds. We have grown a business, two sons, many four-legged creatures and a love that continues to evolve. I know I am not the same person I was fourteen years ago.. in some ways I am so much better.. others.. not so much. BUT HERE IS THE ONE TRUE THING.. my husband loves me through it all. Sometimes it is a crazy, unpredictable love that makes no sense. Nevertheless.. we are still in this thing... and are not planning on going anywhere. So.. to you Shrek.. thanks for the memories and here's to another forty or fifty more.... I love you dearly and always will.


"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

CH-CH-CH-CHANGES.....

This week is a big one. My husband (Shrek) and I will celebrate fourteen years of marriage; our oldest son will graduate from elementary school; I will say goodbye to another batch of students; I will celebrate the retirement of three outstanding educators; and I will mark the end of working with a favorite co-worker (for at least one year). In case you don't know me so well.. I don't handle changes very well. They challenge the inner core of my being that desires so very much to be positive, but the truth is this... I hate changes which often require endings. Changes force me to look back and become weepily nostalgic. I am awed at how quickly time goes and how daily changes have gone unnoticed. I KNOW.... oh-blah-de oh-blah da... LIFE GOES ON... but every once in a while.. I would like to savor the moment, milk every bit of marrow from it and delight in the here and now that is all too fleeting.

My goal for this week is this.. BE JOYOUS!! BE GRATEFUL!! and be thankful for change. Despite not wanting to change, I have been blessed to have the opportunity for opportunities, for do-overs, for forgiveness, and for fresh starts. These too are changes... and really are not so bad!! I will take comfort that God's love for me does not change and he already knows about the changes that are coming my way! He's got it all figured out... why do I worry??



"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"
Numbers 23:19

Unexpected Emotions

Today my students began sharing their End of Year Theme Song Projects. The routine is simple... 1-Pick a song that symbolizes your experience during your sixth grade year. 2- Write a 200 word essay explaining your choice. 3- Share the song and a few parting words with your classmates. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this assignment. Do you know that of my 85 sweet darlings... NOT ONE song was repeated? That proves to me that they are indeed "uniquely and wonderfully created".
But here is the thing that really got me. One of my quiet and demure ladies played a song that discussed the concept of not wanting to grow up. I have to check with my student to find the title. The young lady totally nailed what it is like to be young and torn between wanting to be grown and wanting to be a kid. As I listened to the song and read my student's words about "wanting to hold my momma's hand just a little tighter"... the tears began to flow and I was moved. The students sat in awe... their sassy, crazy, full of bologna teacher had tears streaming down her face... something rarely allowed or seen. YOU SEE... here is the JOY... my doll, my lady, MY STUDENT HAD BECOME A WRITER. She moved me and I am proud! My mission (for the moment) has been accomplished!

Thanks be to God for my moments of clarity and the love he allows me for the young people I work with. I am a blessed woman!

It's That Time of Year...

This coming week marks the North Carolina End of Grade Testing period for my personal children and my students. One year ago...I allowed these tests to alter my personality and make me an unhappy, ungrateful, sad, sad person. It was miserable and honestly took me about six weeks to shake that thing... that I must now admit was likely depression. I hated myself for not doing enough on any level for kids that I love so much (dispite giving EVERYTHING I HAD). I hated the tests for torturing my loves and for teaching them that hard work really is not enough. I hated everything and most everyone. This was not good....

This year... I have worked diligently using my husband's advice "start like you are going to finish". I have worked with my own children on any "red flag" issues and provided extra help for my students at any given chance. I have had a healthy attitude about the tests and focused on the belief that we are ALL good enough... right now.. right now.. RIGHT NOW!! WE will never be perfect... you can't even score a 100% so let's just do this thing and see what happens.

Do not mistake my new attitude for apathy or a lack of seriousness!! I, dear ones, and simply trying to achieve balance and help the ones I love most realize that THEY are masterpieces!! They are good enough.... and in the words of Bruno Marz..." I love (them) just the way they are".

Prayers needed and appreciated this week.... God's blessings WILL be there!!

Do The Right Thing!!

My parents and their parents and probably their parents and EVERY generation before me has often told their kids.."do the right thing." I am burdened by that responsibility sometimes. I find myself begrudgingly "doing the right thing" when (if I were totally honest with myself) that is the polar opposite of what I want to do! When I constantly give in to this unspoken expectation, I grow weary and irritable and really inwardly hostile about the "things" and the people that expect them! BUT HERE IS THE THING.... if you will... when I am selfish and give in to my "all about me attitude", I miss out. I miss out on experiences, ah-ha moments, and many memory making opportunities. So... today.. I will get a shower, I will go somewhere I have little or no desire to go, and I will...once again.. do the right thing! Praying that God will shake me up a bit and that the smiles shared will be the only memory of my day!

WHO KNEW??

Today I was teaching a Science Fiction lesson and used Ray Bradbury's "All Summer In A Day". My objectives were clear: identify the elements of Science Fiction, read the story, find aforementioned elements, move on...
HOWEVER.. I must remind you dear reader that I teach SIXTH GRADE! Like that box of chocolates Sweet Forrest mentioned... you never know what you're gonna' get!
The gist of the story is this: Setting= Venus in a future time. Conflict= It rains there for seven years, only to be interrupted by one hour of sunshine before returning to RAIN!! Characters= A bunch of little kids who have never seen sunshine, the teacher, and Margot (who was born on Earth and remembers sun and is "weird" by the other kids' standards). The mean kids lock Margot in a closet and forget about her... and she of course misses the sun.
My students totally turned this into a Character Education lesson. They opened up and talked about how it really stinks to be the odd person out. These kids who don't like to be too serious asked excellent questions. "Where was the teacher? Do you think Margot recovered? If she loses her mind, is it their fault?" and then.... the really hard question..."Mrs. Freeman, did you ever do such things?". OH my heart beat quickly and my face turned red and I lowered my head in shame. THEN.. I had to summons the courage to tell them the truth.. "Yes dear ones, I may not have been William (the ring leader); but I know that kids were picked on, I knew it was wrong and I DID NOTHING and for that I have very sorry." So... did I meet my academic objectives of Science Fiction? Not so much. I did however continue to build relationships with my students, further enhanced their trust in me, and hopefully allowed them for a moment to realize it's never to late to change who you are and how you behave!
Thank you Toucans for the reminder... now tomorrow... SCIENCE FICTION is on the agenda...

Spring has sprung?

Today marks the first day of Spring. Flirty dresses, sandals and pedicures, Easter bonnets and anticipation of days at the pool, mowing the lawn and evenings spent on The Deck. AND POLLEN!!! Arrrggghhh. This must surely be the work of the devil. But wait.. not so much. You see... in that disgusting, misery causing agent lies life for other things. Flowers, trees, and even honey. So...I am trying to alter my attitude. Rather than fuss and complain about how pollen affects me.. perhaps I should realize that a brief season of misery is worth all that will develop in the end. God has a plan for all of us and sometimes it's a little uncomfortable. Embrace those moments and try to look outside of you and into your circle of influence!! May his blessings be all that you see!!

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1

Parental Guidance??

This week my son and I were riding along in the car. Funny thing.. there is never music in my car when I have one of the boys alone... too much to talk about. In any event, he explains, "Mom, some girl left a period pad in the back of the classroom where the teacher keeps her black drawers." My brain sort of skimmed over the first part and said, "Oh yeah, a filing cabinet?" He said, "Yes. Everybody started laughing and I just thought it was gross." I responded with some fluff about "well, this is a part of life" blah, blah, blah.
Several days later, I am still in a bit of shock. YES I KNOW he is ten years old and is supposed to know about this stuff. BUT where did the time go? How is it that he is in the final chapters of his elementary career? and HOW do I continue to foster a relationship where he still talks to me. I guess I just keep on loving him and try to listen with my mind and my heart. Perhaps focusing on answering as if he were one of my students rather than my baby boy! This entire experience makes me grateful to be his mother and for the loaner gift of he and his brother. I am so undeserving but so very thankful!

Judge NOT.....

Judging others. Something we all do and something we all are instructed to NOT do. I often question why our Father in Heaven gave us such skills. We are all too often quick to judge, rapid to condemn, and painfully slow to forgive. Each of us thinks too highly of ourselves or falsely believes that we would NEVER be caught in "those" situations that lesser humans are in. But here is the one true thing... YOU NEVER KNOW!! I am working on looking past the immediate, in my face, and oh so easily judged.. moment. AND trying to look at the entire package. The novel.. rather than the page if you will. Each of us are really nothing more than our experiences and the blessings that were meant to accompany them. Sometimes we falter, sometimes we fall flat, and every once in a while... we get it right. So... do we really have the right to judge? You decide.

Matthew 7:1 "Judge not, lest you be judged"

The ugly, ugly truth.......

Today marks DAY 1 of the never-ending quest to lose weight. I REALLY don't like being overweight and I really don't like feeling as tho' I can't do everything my mind seems to think I can. Just last week, I nailed a double wing at dance..only to have my knees BEG for mercy the next morning.. NOT GOOD. AND YES.. I have kidded myself and said all the classic statements..."the dryer shrunk my pants, I really did not eat that much, I don't have time for exercise".... BLAH BLAH BLAH Maria!! Give it a break... you sound worse than the drill at the dentists' office accompanied by long icky teacher nails down and old-fashioned chalk board. I give 100% most everywhere in my life and MUST commit to taking better care of myself. The recent bills that have begun to pour in for our month of insane health-care needs really ought to be catalyst enough. BUT NO.. don't forget the many, many dollars I have spent on weight loss.. only to gain those little suckers back (and them some). For those who have never struggled with weight, don't judge and don't give empty advice. You, nor I, never will really understand another's journey until we have walked in another's shoes. (By the way~ I tried that once and really did not like my friend's shoes at all.. they pinched my toes). Ultimately, I seek truthful support and encouragement. I will keep you posted and if you find this ridiculous... just tune out. I won't be offended.
So.... success for Day 1. I am encouraged and excited. THANKS for asking!

PS.. Thanks to the numerous folks out there who have inspired me. YOU LOOK MAHVELOUS DAHLINGS!!!! (Old 7-Up commercial voice)

Teachers are lovers .....

This morning our Pastor continued a series on Love. He started by playing Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" as sung by Whitney Houston. He spoke about the supernatural, unfathomable love of Christ that we mere mortals will never understand until our Joyous Homecoming in Heaven. Repeatedly he spoke of those who taught love to others throughout the Bible... the Good Samaritan, the commandments, etc. and stated "(that) teachers are lovers". I have to fully agree. After sixteen years, I am still fully and totally in-love with the profession I have been called to. Each day offers new opportunities to display Christ-like love to students and adults who need an extra blessing. However, "teacherly love" is analogous to that supernatural love Pastor spoke of. Outsiders don't understand how I can full-on hug one of the stinkiest kids in the entire school and grin for joy when he yells my name down the hallway. They can't possibly understand what would be appropriate about telling a child who has just passed gas and is dying from embarassment.."there is more room out than in, you know?" They can't understand why EOGs are our collective biggest fears because we LOVE these kids and hate for a test to tell them they are anything but wonderful. It makes me proud... which is something love is not supposed to be according to Corinthians. However, the pride is not personal. The pride is in MY GOD who granted me the talent, patience, and energy to teach. I thank GOD he led me to this place, and that (finally) I listened to his call. For these and all my blessings, I am humbled and grateful. Can't wait to share the love tomorrow....... there is nothing better!

Grumble, grumble....

Do you ever have the experience where a perfectly good day is totally turned on its undeserving ear and manifests itself into a rotten ending? Such is life in my otherwise perfect world. I woke up in the post-headache fog.. only wishing by the end of the day that the previously mentioned headache would return so things would improve. WELL... grovel, grovel....poor pitiful me. LIFE is not always chocolates and roses. Today has been a test... of my patience, my endurance, and the "guts" I will display through it all. I go to bed tonight thankging God that all days are not like this and pray for renewed spirit by morning. SO glad for that and the possibility that lies within tomorrow.

Okay... I've said these things.. on my way to feeling better already!
May your tomorrows always be BETTER AND BETTER...

Tea Party Observations

Tonight I attended a meeting of the Rowan County Tea Party Patriots (their name not mine). It was an interesting blend of people. My husband invited me and the guest speaker was to be "a former Muslim who will share about the Muslim faith and culture and what caused his conversion". Sounded interesting and I agreed to attend. We even took our boys. However, once the man began speaking... the room became instantly uncomfortable. Although I respectfully listened, I wanted to leave because I don't naturally like conflict.... at all. A lady began to nit-pick on his points and details. He readily admitted he was self-taught and had researched for only ten years. YET, she became more incensed with each statement the speaker made. Whether I believe either of them is not the point. INSTEAD, I observed that our nation was founded on FREEDOM. Freedom of speech and religion without persecution. However, I fear that we may have entered a nanny state where we don't speak freely on either issue to maintain political correctness or so as not to offend. REALLY? I don't read anywhere in the red parts of the Bible where it says "if you need to deny me so people won't get upset... it's okay. As long as you and I know the truth?" This really has my head spinning and for once... I am at a loss for words!

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day and I think this year has been one of the BEST ever. Perhaps because I took my destiny into my own hands and wrote individual cards for all my colleagues and for each of my students. It's a day when so many people feel let down or disappointed. I thought I would be proactive and make sure they started their days (or my class period) knowing that I think they are pretty darn special. It was a labor of love. It made my heart full...thinking of each one and thanking God for them. IT WAS LOVELY!!! We had the best time... all day long. Laughter filled the air and each period some child would say, "really, it's time to go already?" Now that is what I am talking about. Not to be trite, but I LOVE those days. I came home to flowers, chocolates, and three smiling faces who love me today and even those days when I am anything but lovable. BONUS!! Love is what we make of it. Celebrate the small gestures and constantly ask yourself... what can I do to show the love Christ has shown me? This very simple, but life-changing task can move mountains!! Bless you... and... have I told you lately that I love you?? WELL.. I do!!

LOVE Defined....

The past twenty four hours have helped me more appropriately define the quintessential term of love.
1- Finishing my day to call my boys and hear that they are playing Wii with their Papa after he picked them up from school.
2- Talking to my husband who felt guardedly optimistic about his numerous tests this week.
3- Attending my boys first jam session where people played from their hearts and gave the glory to GOD for their talents.
4- Having my boys (somewhat willingly) help around the house so that all the work could be done TODAY!
5- Attending a baby shower for a sweet family who we are really enjoying getting to know. Looking forward to loving on their latest addition to the football team.
6- Attending a family get together to honor and in memory of our Grandmother. My cousin Tina did the cooking and I know everything tasted better because of her kind act of selfless love. IT WAS AMAZING!!
7- Alex asking to spend the night with Nana and Papa... knowing deep in his heart that they rarely say no.
8- Returning home to listen to my husband and son play music and SINGING along.
9- Laying down in a warm home, fully fed, clean and safe!
10- The peace and assurance that GOD will deliver me from my sins and has saved my soul from eternal damnation!

Praise be to God for the day and my blessings!!

Friendship Bread and Blue Grass

Tonight my home is filled with the aroma of cinnamon and sugar and gooey goodness.... called Friendship Bread. I got the starter from a fantastic student who understands the meaning of family and friendship. Her attitude makes the bread even better. I also have the interesting sounds of emergent bluegrass music as my sons practice their mandolin and banjo. When I say emergent.. please take that literally! In any event, life is good and sweet and really quite fun. We are working on taking life easier and being satisfied just where we are with just what we have. We are headed to a Pickin' and Grinnin' Jam Session put on by our fabulous teachers tomorrow night. A pretty simple life... and it is good!

Peaceful Easy Feeling

Since 2011 burst on the scene.. things here have been CRAZY. We started with AF having his tonsils out, followed by an entire week out of school for SNOW?. We spent a weekend in Banner Elk for me to return with double ear infections, sinus infection, and bronchitis... keeping me out of school another four days. MF developed a sinus infection.. another day out. AND Shrek has had heart health issues... SO YOU SEE.. things are a little more chaotic than normal.

HOWEVER... this morning I woke up with a peaceful, easy feeling... YOU KNOW THE EAGLES SONG... the second line of the chorus says... " and I know you won't let me down". I finally realized what was true yesterday, is true today, and will be true through ALL of my tomorrows... HE has it all figured out and HE won't let me down. MY GOD is an amazing and powerful one who knows that I need some peace to be able to prayerfully handle the things that will inevitably come next.

Don't get me wrong.. I am still frazzled and concerned about all that is going on... but I give it to the one who loves me most and will enjoy the gift of peace he has so generously given me. AMEN!

Mathematics Meltdown

Tonight my oldest son had a complete and total meltdown due to FRACTIONS. As he ranted with great zeal and proceeded to explain how "stupid they are and that nobody EVER uses them in real life", I could not help but feel his frustration. Finally, he complained and whined until at last the truth was revealed. "DAD, you don't understand, you never will understand, don't you see? it's not easy!". Ah-ha! The truth shall set you free dear one.
Just like my son, none of us like things that are not easily acquired, retained, and regurgitated on demand. How often do we use more mature tactics to avoid having to begin, attempt, or stick to things that are not easy? Yet, I have heard several times in my life "nothing worth doing is easy". Observation, my son just passed a mini-quiz on his quest for adulthood. Adults must sometimes do those things which are not easy.. you know like parent firmly, say yes when no one else will, love unconditionally, and review fractions with the unwilling until they are mastered. I am considering learning something new.... I guess I better research further to find something that is not EASY!!

Prayers for all who struggle with fractions and Math in general. Make friends with your enemy and suddenly it becomes... easy!

Life Lessons from the Football Field

This weekend is the Super Bowl. I don't like to always admit it.. but I love football. I do not have a favorite team.. unless you include the ones my children play on and of course Appalachian State. I just truly love the feeling of watching a quality football game. I get a little giddy each fall when you hear the echo of "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?" It's true. You see my love affair with the sport began many years ago. As a pigtailed little girl, my dad took me to Appalachian Games. The most important lesson I learned was .. even tho' he was doing something he loved, I could be a part of it. I was important enough to get to go too. As a 9th grader, I (along with a wonderful friend) was allowed to be the manager of the Woodward Wolverine football team. Riding the bus, I learned about the psychology of men... when they win.. and when they don't. From those hours spent in chaotic celebration or silent agitation, I am better prepared to raise my two testosterone filled sons. I also learned when to SHUT-UP. That skill has come in handy.. tho' I forget about it all too often. After marrying and having our boys, we returned to Appalachian to support the teams through every game leading up to 3 National Championship titles. Thankfully, I was again with my father, who taught me about pride as a tear trickled down his cheek on the occasion of the first win. YES.. it's okay to feel emotions of happiness and pride.. especially for a job well earned and honors not easily attained. For the past three years, I have had the privilege of being involved with Youth Football League. From these, 8 to 10 year old children, I have learned about giving second chances and NEVER settling for less than your best. I have learned the meaning of team and WHY men of 40 years and older still remember their "glory days" and each and every team mates' name. So.. yes.. the end of football season is coming and I am a little melancholy about it. The lessons learned will never leave and it's not too many months 'till my class room opens again.

"Show class, have pride, and display character. If you do, winning takes care of itself."
Paul "Bear" Bryant

Heart Filled with Pride and a Moment of Sadness

Today my oldest son sang with the Honor's Chorus from his school at the Salisbury Symphony. He is one of only a few boys and really did not care who was trying out. Today he sang with his whole heart. He threw his head back and sang of Crazy Horse and Harriet Tubman and seemed to emote joy from his sweet little toes all the way to the pinnacle of his yellow topped head. I was so proud. He did what he wanted and did it with passion and joy. He was true to himself and just pretty spectacular... along with about one hundred other kids. He beamed with excitement as he marched in.. caught between being too cool and about to burst. WOW.. what did I do to get to parent this amazing young one? Then (for just a moment) the thought struck me... my time with him and our other son is flying too quickly. They will be out in the world and (for a while) totally bothered by me. I pray that I use my time with them wisely and that they are prepared to face the challenges that lie ahead. My opportunity as their mother is a very serious task and one that often overwhelms me because I don't get any do-overs.
Thank you God for them and for giving them to me.. if only for a little while longer... Please guide me to guide them in the paths of YOUR choosing and keep us all close to you so we can not possibly turn away. AMEN!

Proverbs - Chapter 22:6
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

Mountain Top Revival

This weekend we have spent time in Banner Elk, North Carolina. We love to visit here and always have a completely relaxing time. There are no time constraints; agendas; homework; or worries. The biggest decisions usually revolve around if and what we might eat.. but nobody really cares.. AT ALL!! The mountain brings renewed spirits. The mountain reminds us what is and what is NOT important. The mountain reminds of us God's amazing power and generosity in giving us the beauty of HIS earth. The mountain is a place of refuge and a strength renewer. The mountain is lovely... and we know we are loved.

"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves." ~John Muir

Snow... BE STILL!!

Today is Day 4 of a snowy, icy week in my town. Everyone here rejoices with the first flakes. Quickly, their cries of happiness turn to despair and grovveling that they "can't get out" and are "going to go absolutely nuts". Don't get me wrong.. I get it. I truly do. My small home becomes teensy and tiny with all four of our independent and strong-willed personalities together for too long. However... it is a chance to be still. I really have a hard time with this one. But being still.. gives us a chance to focus on God's voice that we often fail to hear in our busy, hectic, and frantic lives. God paints the landscape. Take a moment to enjoy it. Listen for the solitude and peace and "be still and know that (he) is God" {Psalm 46:10}.

Why Do We STOP??

When the boys were little and in Daycare, I often would pick them up and they would say... I MISSED YOU! and I missed them equally. WHY DO WE STOP saying the truth as we grow older? Every parent and grown-up type person worth copying always said "honesty is the best policy" (or something like that). "If you tell the truth, you won't be in trouble". "As long you are honest, it will all be okay." HOWEVER... as we age... something gets twisted. We no longer say, "hey.. I still am your friend, but you hurt my feelings, made me mad, disappointed me"... whatever would be fitting. Instead we learn, practice and grow quite accomplished at saying "oh, it's okay.. I had too much to do anyway; was enjoying the time to be quiet while I waited on you; or I got so involved I did not notice you failed to call". BALOGNA!!!! PHOOEY!! AND LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!! We are being nothing less than dishonest... and I am quite certain that goes directly against one of the original commandments. This week... I think I am going to try to speak the TRUTH in LOVE.. and pray that like those darling little toddlers I will easily be forgiven and forgive. AMEN!


"But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ" (Eph. 4: 15).

On The Mend

My youngest son had his tonsils removed yesterday morning. He is recovering but his state of being goes from feeling great to flashback induced cries for help and repeating "I wanna' go home" and The Lord's Prayer. This experience has caused me to push my limits of patience. I am NOT a natural nurse but my heart breaks for Alex and I would gladly take his pain if I could. I am probably going to be accused of babying him too much... but this time I will just have to keep doing what I feel is right. I willingly agreed for this surgery to occur and knew that it would cause Alex pain. I HATE that it had to happen but the incessant bouts of strep were taking a toll on us as well. Thankfully, Alex will get well. He is giving us glimpses of that silly smile that usually means he is up to something. This entire experience causes me to pause in awe... HOW COULD our Heavenly Father knowingly send his son to experience the pain and death for MY sins?? Mind boggling!! Thanks be to God for healing!

Subtle Worry?

Tomorrow my youngest son will have his tonsils out. In my mind, I feel confident about the surgeon, the facilities, and his need for the procedure. BUT the Momma in me can not help but be worried. I wonder about the 2.7 billion "what if" questions and dare not allow myself to consider the possibilities of the answers. These answers make my heart race and the eyes well up a bit. I am not an ACTIVE worrier... ever... except when I mailed off "the box" for my National Board Certification. (I passed that one by the way!). However, the subtle worry and momentary panic that follows... I am certainly guilty of. My son is one of the best and most wonderful gifts I have ever been given and for him and the one that gave him to me... I am forever grateful. For now... I have said enough. Time to have a very important conversation with a friend like no other who will give me comfort and ease my fears.. HE will take care of me and my son...his son. I know it!

“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4)

Teeter Totter

This afternoon I saw the film Black Swan. I found the film to be compellingly disturbing. The message I took from it is this... we are all teeter tottering between good and evil. Each day is a struggle for sinners. Most of us do not intentionally sin, we simply give into temptation, fall into the Devil's traps, and fail to THINK before we act.
Another "app" I use suggested that I am uncomfortable with silence.. therefore I fill it and fail to listen to God. GUILTY as charged. With that.. I will leave this passage for us to ponder:
Proverbs 10:8 "The wise of heart will receive commandments, but a babbling fool will come to ruin."

School Lunch

Tonight we are having my very most favorite school lunch from Wilkesboro Elementary. TACOs, Golden Corn, Apple Sauce, and Cinnamon Buns. I really had a great growing up experience. My teachers were fabulous and our cafeteria ladies could surely beat ANYONE in Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen. You see... they lovingly prepared the meals... FROM SCRATCH. No ready-made mix was ever found in our school's pantry. They arrived early and stayed late and I pray they were compensated for their time. Yeast rolls, homemade soup, and the occasional hot dog.. with homemade chili. These were the meals I enjoyed... not chicken nuggets, chicken fillet, chicken in a roll... all the same taste... just a different shape. NOW WAIT A MINUTE.. I am not slamming on the cafeteria staff members of current time. I realize they are not allowed to have creativity or fun in the kitchen due to budgetary and FDA constraints. However.. I am sad for our world that we are loosing this valuable time and influence on our children. God did not make us all cookie-cutter people. He knows each hair on our heads and blesses us with gifts and talents. God and the Cafeteria Manager had this in common... they realized talents and encouraged them to be developed. Mrs.Baity was the BEST roll maker. She performed her duty lovingly and I never remember anyone else even trying to fill her shoes. Maybe that's the way it should be.. Find your niche and totally rock it. Make yourself unmistakable and valued and be a blessing to all who encounter you doing your thing as only our Master knows you can.

Romans 12:6-8
6Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; 7 if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; 8 the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Sunday's Second Thoughts

Today I fully intended to take down and quickly put away everything Christmas. I planned to do it all in record time and get my life back to "normal". However, I listened to my pastor's words about after Christmas let down and depression. He reminded me that Christmas should not be a one day event. That little Baby Jesus... you know? He grew up. He was sacrificed for sinners everywhere... and Christmas is the beginning. Christmas should be cherished in our hearts and celebrated every day. HIS birth marks the beginning of the promise fulfilled for forgiveness, hope and salvation. SO... you guessed it. The Christmas decorations are still up. Another day I will take the time to put them away... and cherish them and feel grateful and blessed and HE will be with me.

Matthew 1:23
23"Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel," which means, "God is with us."

New Year....New Attitude?

Today marks the beginning of another calendar year. Many people make resolutions and pledge, promise, and THINK they will change. I don't really know if I buy it. I suppose I think...if it is a bad habit that needs to be dropped or a good habit that needs to be started, why wait? I also can't help but be reminded that each day we are GIVEN and each breath we take are chances to "do over" in our Heavenly Father's eyes. HE does not wait to forgive. HE does not love conditionally. HE asks very little, yet firmly, consistently, and unselfishly gives so much. SO... rather than make a "resolution" that I will likely find emptiness and failure in, I will CHOOSE to gratefully accept the gift of love and pardon from my creator. If I live in the WORD and in a manner that is pleasing to him...I WILL NOT FAIL!

"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me"
Philippians 4:13